i read an article recently about ssb (secret, single, behaviour). the things you do when no one is looking and you're left, in your home, entirely to your own devices. besides being humourous and collectively affirming, i thought the article to be vaguely prejudice. being a married does not mean i don't find myself, every now and again, alone in my abode. like tonight, par example. jeremy is out at the soccer season opener and i am left here, with an evening completely unto myself.

and what will i do with said evening you may ask? let me enlighten you and allow me to speak in generalities knowing for the most part, time alone is a smattering of column A with a generous seasoning of column B. in other words, these are my rituals. leave me be for longer than an hour and i'm bound to partake in at least one.

for your consideration, (and perhaps for your peace of mind when you land on one that begs the utterance, "ME TOO!"), here is my smb (secret, married, behaviour).

- i listen to strange music
- i sing. really loudly. the same three songs.
- i drink a glass of wine
- i drink 3 glasses of wine
- i dance. wildly and without caring that we don't have curtains.
- i write
- i have multiple costume changes often including but not limited to: my wedding dress, my black swan halloween costume, my swimming trunks
- i eat food that's been prepared by someone else (take-out, delivery, something from the grocery store deli counter)
- i buy a delectable and completely indulgent dessert from the bakery
- i pretend i'm going to only eat half
- i eat the whole thing
- i put my hair up
- i put my hair down
- i do a headstand by the front door and for the first (but not the only) time in the evening i'll miss jeremy for not being on hand to help me down
- i'll make something
- i'll draw something
- i'll try (and fail) to wait up until jeremy gets home
- i'll leave a loving note/sign/banner made with toilet paper

embrace your time alone! eat the whole damn dessert yourself! and, who are we kidding, have that fourth glass of wine. i'm going to go pour mine now.


melly said...

Oh baby. I love ya. I like all your behaviours - inappropriate-subway-attired-ones too.


jennifer sorrell said...

i can see your underwear.

Anonymous said...

what are the songs?

steph said...

you are my favourite person in the whole world, no one else comes at all close. i love that these are only a handful of your incredible rituals, i love that i do some of these too, and that i learned some of them from you. you are magical!!!!! xoxox