the life we're currently having

it's a funny thing that we have to learn to be present in our own lives. and humbling how difficult it is to remember. jeremy and i are doing a really good job this year at kicking the winter blues in the nards and it's definately thanks in part to my concentrated efforts in staying presently aware.

this is easier now that i exercise, and exercise is easier now that's it habit, and healthy habits are easier to apply to everything else (food, drinking) when you see their obvious benefits seeping across all aspects of your being like a pleasant, pervasive ooze. maybe more like a fruit smoothie spill.

i do ballet, we do yoga, i walk 10 kilometres every day. i lift weights, i run full tilt for short distances, i dance modern interpretive numbers in the living room. if a day goes by and i don't do any assortment of these things i can actually feel the difference in my body. my head longs to be upside down and my legs long to be stretched forward and backward in some combined motion of dance and circus performance. movement, i think, is one of the secrets of the good life.

stillness is harder but the pathway might be the same. isn't that the point of yoga? inner calm through body connection? something like that? you could say that anything that engages your body and your mind together is something endangered in this life and wholly good and important. i saw pina with jessica on wednesday, that film about the modern dance composer pina bausch, and thought what a worthwhile and noble challenge - to express one's self fully through dance. i can close my eyes and recall the viewing experience, still.

when we aren't pumping iron or practicing our shoulder stand, we're listening to new ideas on TED talks or radiolab. we like our CBC app for iPad - quirks and quarks, stuart mclean, canada reads. classical music on radio 2 because julie nesrallah makes the experience approachable and enjoyable even if you understand only shining bits of what she's saying. mountains of books from the library - right now on our learning table we have a van gogh picture book, walton ford's pancha tantra and the stargazers galaxy atlas.

we paint and sculpt and look for truths in non-fiction books, we write down big ideas on big paper and the chalk door in the kitchen. we're learning the art of massage.

last night we watched mary and max and i highly recommend that you do the same. the story of a young australian girl and her middle aged new york city pen pal balances whimsy with deeply dark truthfulness. that's my favourite blend. i cried in jeremy's lap as the credits rolled and thought about how my tears of sadness carried chemicals of release from my body. leaving me both lighter and heavier with emotion and truth.

that's right, you won.

it's good to pretend you're winning some races!

this is actually a dramatic reenactment, the first time i won jeremy was busy photographing nature.

a worthy distraction, to be sure.

citrus stills in sunshine

unbeknownst to each other we both managed to photograph the oranges this morning.

good thing we're together! good thing for oranges too!

getting their glamour shots taken and all.

often i think, "i love my life".


hypnotic little bits of fallen sky,
made solid by my cold and watchful eye.

learnings and findings

lately we’ve been interested in art. i got jeremy acrylic paints for christmas and it turned out to be a gift for both of us as our new favourite weekend activity is sitting side by each in the art room, trying out different paint techniques. jeremy likes the group of seven or their modern day contemporaries like david grieve. i like impressionism and fauvism and especially the bright bold colours of kees van dongen.

coco chanel is a fascinating character. the particularly juicy bits are her humble beginnings and her love affairs with boy capel and igor stravinsky. although there is something unsettling about her willingness to engage in relationships with married men, the times she lived in were different, her lack of family status a very real obstacle to marriage, and marriage itself much more of a social convention than the standard of equality and partnership it is today. she loved, she created, she lived – and all outside of what society had in store for women of that time period. plus hello beautiful clothing!

in our outdoor adventures we’ve been taking weekend hikes in corruthers woods. it’s a section of the don valley that is directly behind our apartment and can entertain one (or two!) for hours with its meandering trails and riverside ambles. it’s really remarkable how much green space toronto has and how easily accessible it is from so many places in the city. this weekend we’re doing a hike from the lakeshore, all the way up to the brick works on the lower don trail. we're meeting mel and alan in the distillery district then we'll hop on the trail from the lakeshore, meandering our way slowly north, stopping to sight-see and share sandwiches.

wheatberries are a remarkable grain. they have an almost ground-meat-like texture which jeremy noticed and i capitalized on by suggesting we season them with spices and use them for veggie tacos - delicious! we've also used them to make stuffing (wheatberry and cranberry) and to add a little crunch to our salads. they're used to make an eastern european porridge called kutya by cooking them slowly over a period of days. how alluring is something that takes that much time? in a world where everything is instant or quicker? very i'd say. i'd like to fill my bowl up with slowness please and savour every. single. drop.

pretty things

"the dress must not hang on the body but follow its lines. it must accompany its wearer and when a woman smiles the dress must smile with her."

madeleine vionnet

"the best accessory for any frock, is jeremy and a lip lock."

jennifer sorrell


i wish there was a way to know my own bones. to observe their unique valleys and curves and ask them philosophical questions about the roles that strength and silence have played on their success. i wonder if they’ll feel lonely, in the end, without the weight of the rest of me – layers of tissues and ribbons of complex tubes – all gone and melted back to some organic state.

or if they’ll feel light and oddly free. as you do in that moment when you’ve longed for silence and finally it’s come and instead of feeling alone, you feel at one with almost everything.