and in other more important news

gibson the world's tallest dog, has lost his battle with cancer.

i hope he's been fitted with a golden saddle up in giant dog heaven. and i hope they have those dishes that are on those stands for big dogs so they don't get back aches bending over so far.


dear internet,

i missed you! i'm thinking of you all the time and making notes on things to share with you later when i've come in from outdoors and down from the sky.

life is good. the wedding is so close so that's been keeping me tres beaucoup busy and work is good so that's been the busy other half and this weekend we go way up north where the deers and the antelope play to visit steph and ryan and i CANT WAIT.

i had a nice little wedding party thinger last weekend with some friends and some of jer's family and it was the kind of party you enjoy because it gives you a sense of what happens when people come together for celebration. it becomes a thing, in and of itself, and you just sit back in your pretty dress and enjoy the company of loved ones. if you're jeremy you just minus the dress part.

i'm reading all sorts of good books and listening to all sorts of good music and the other day i made a bird sculpture out of compost and clay. it's cooled down here which reminds me of fall which reminds me of the wedding and for both i am anxious, with breath that is bated.

i hope you're well, internet. and thank you for being the sort of friend i can return to and feel as though no time has passed at all.

a glass of white wine has been chilling and i think it's now been chilling long enough.


things i'm looking forward to today

1. visiting steph and ryan this weekend

2. eating my lunch

3. marrying jeremy

4. 5 o'clock

all good reasons to visit ottawa

ottawa is a lovely city. i've thought that my first adult visit to our nations capital four years ago and i've thought that every time since then.

jeremy said it felt like toronto on a quiet weekend and that's sort of it, but it's also just such a NICE place. it has nice people and nice buildings and you can walk around the whole city easily and leisurely and sometimes when you want to cross the street you have to wait for a parade of armed guards in bearskin hats to cross first.

here's some other reasons it's good to visit ottawa.

1. this funny airport photo opportunity.

2. the gophers.

this little fellow came so close to me he almost nibbled my toes but i moved too fast and he darted into the well trimmed parliament hill hedge and i spent the next twenty minutes thinking i knew how to call a gopher out to play.

3. the big lawns.

everything is so sprawled out in ottawa like it cares for it's open spaces in the same way other cities care for their building strategy of up up up. you can breathe and the air smells like air. and gophers.

4. the view of the river and quebec.

like there it is! right there! everyone from ottawa walks over the bridge to quebec when they are 18 because it's legal to drink there. to send you back home, quebec just throws you in the river.

5. the women's rights statues on parliament hill.

i visit these crazy ladies every time i come which totals 4 times after this trip and every time we get together no matter how long we've been apart it feels like we haven't missed a beat.

she always gets me with that joke.

6. breakfast at metropolitan.

this was honestly the best breakfast i've ever had. i'm always torn between savory or sweet breakfasts and this had both in perfect amounts. ham and gruyere stuffed french toast with wild berry compote and warm maple syrup mmmmmmmm i wonder if they deliver to toronto?

7. big foot.

8. catherina.

i met catherina my first trip to ottawa so for me the two are interchangeable, i can't imagine one without thinking of the other! here we are at our anishinabe wedding ceremony at the civilization museum in gatineau quebec.

9. the egyptian costumes.

(and jeremy wearing them).

10. the children's museum.

the museum of civilization is pretty interesting and very hands-on and has a neat exhibit on mythical creatures but by far the best part of the whole place is the kids museum it's SO FUN. this area is a simulation of a theatre backstage and it has all these costumes and mirrors and there's a stage you could come out on and if i had have been 8 i would be there still.
it's just so great! they have areas for different countries around the world and you can dress up like people from those countries and pretend you're driving this bus and the fun never ends with make believe.

also, i am the happiest bus driver in the world.

this camel just wouldn't move at ALL. plastic animals are the laziest.

i love this picture because it is blurry and captures the blurry essence of me in the kids museum. i seriously could not contain my joy. this was a giant pretend kitchen with a french chefs hat and pretend pastries and a pretend oven and a little window looking out onto a pretend market.

can i get you a pretend croissant? that will be five pretend dollars.

11. the karaoke.

this was a part of the postage museum (also in the civilization museum). all the songs were postal themed and we sang 'signed sealed delivered' though now i wish we sang 'mr postman'. guess we have to go back!

12. the lucky ron show.

this is my second time to this saturday event at the lafeyette which is a bar with a funny name in downtown ottawa and it was just as fun as the first time. this time i knew some of the actions and chants and i got a bit better at holding my quart size bottle of beer without looking like a total out-of-towner. i think. according to me.

ron sings covers of johnny cash and hank williams and my favourite part was when jeremy was singing along to 'boy named sue'. also this weird part where people try to throw cigarettes into the hole of ron's guitar.
13. this mexican food restaurant.

the nachos were deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious. even jeremy who 'only wanted a few' participated in the silent but serious war over the last sour cream and salsa drenched chips.

and the last good reason to visit ottawa - you can avoid making this face!

the end of a trip is always happy married with a little bit of sad because the adventure is over until next time! but you look at your pictures and you email catherina to say it was so nice to see her and you get to take jeremy home as a souvenir which is way better than any of those ottawa t-shirts or bears dressed up like parliament guards.


oh excuse me! i've been away and then it's so hot i melted and just now jeremy scooped me up off the floor and put me in the fridge and now i'm ok

i'll tell you all about our trip to ottawa shortly, in the meantime look at these wonderful stamps from the uk!

jer's papa, (who is so adorable i want to roll him up in an english quilt and stick him in an english stocking and hang him from an english bedpost as a decoration), sent us a card to accept our wedding invitation and on the card there was this bottom left stamp of a pixie on a snail. HOW CUTE.

those british folks, they sure do well by their mythical postage.

the art of flower crown creation

today i went to a planting event in downsview park which is a thing the company i work for does and sometimes volunteers come and sometimes staff members come and sometimes cool youth groups come but today! today i came.

we had a tour of the park and then we got down to business removing invasive plants from the area and pruning dead branches off of trees. it was like a makeover! for nature!

and my work friend had about the same ambitions as myself so magically the afternoon was spent making flower crowns, while appreciating the awesomeness of what was going on around us of course. and it was sunny and then it was cloudy and then it rained the kind of rain you can almost stand between and not get wet and then it was sunny again and i really felt like i was camping and or on a day camp field trip.

there's a giant vegetable farm there and the guy who ran it was named sunny and he gave us all vegetables and told us he loves our company and we told him we loved him too and we all sang kumbaya.

aw i love you outdoors.

(and special thanks to new job for bringing me to you on a work day.)

the rain it makes me melancholy

this morning i thought about aspirations and what mine might be and what ours might be as we as we marry and move together towards the things we want out of this life.

and i came up with four.





freedom from debt and financial obligation. peace within our lives, our relationships, our manner of interacting with the world. health so we may live long and happiness so we may live even longer.

i forgot to add 'tacos every year on my birthday' but that is probably a subcategory of happiness.


sometimes when it rains and thunders and lightenings, the best thing to do is find a spot to watch.

banesa with one s

tonight i had a picnic with my friend vanesa who has the prettiest cheekbones in all the land and we had one zillion things to catch up on and we didn't touch on one of them INSTEAD we talked in depth about buffy the vampire slayer.

and that is what makes a friend. when you miss some time but waste none in getting back to what's important.

did they switch shirts? i don't get it. but i feel love for them anyways.

i'm being type cast by youtube

what can i say, i'm just in a very 80's star-studded musical compilation mood this week.

i keep my daemon in the closet

listen to this terrific talk about creativity and how thinking about it as something separate from yourself is not only helpful, but healthy and humbling. the three h's!

i love the part about the poet and the thunderous train of air.

have a sail around on the site after you're done there's all sorts of amazing talks about pretty much everything that's important in the world. be an activist from your livingroom!

it's easier to eat chips when you picket on your couch.


jeremy told me he got me a present and that it might arrive in the mail while he was away and today when i got home from work it was leaning up against my door! like santa claus had been!

and look what it is! the most adorable raincoat you ever did see!

it has poppies and little yellow flowers and a big hood and a pocket to put my hands in and when i put it on i am in a garden and i am happy.

and look! it makes beautiful art if you move spastically in front of the camera!

GAH! i love it i'm going to sleep in it and wear it to work tomorrow and on october 10th i'm going to wear it down the aisle.

wow it's really coming down out here only i don't feel a thing inside my garden coat!

jeremy this came at the most perfect time!! i love you more than i could ever possibly express in one lifetime. you treat me like gold if gold needed raingear.

in 2 months and a bit me and this person will be married

and i can't wait.

it's very difficult to take a photo of your own bun

but i managed!

i love to wear my bun around the house it makes me feel like i'm a ballet dancer from the 70's.

or it makes me feel like my mom she wore a bun for three decades. with a stick to hold it in place and barrettes on each side.

look how pretty our apartment is! it's so full of light all the time we really love it. and it's SO quiet. besides the trains which are actually quite charming you hear nothing but wind and sometimes a neighbours door opening and closing.

lily, the pretty flower you gave me saturday is on the window sill! i hope to give it a very nice life.

i'd like to dedicate this picture to estephanie gerkins

pictures of people in love in the 70's make me think of you every time. especially if they're musical people. and extra especially if they look like hippies and it's a black and white photograph.

sorry jeremy, i've met someone new. (again.)

her name is judy collins and she has beautiful blue eyes and when she sings i am reminded of my childhood and she makes me want to dance sadly around the living room lamenting for political reasons.

steph do you love judy collins? did judy collins and james taylor ever date each other? i feel like a heated debate could spark over who is more soothing sounding. which i'll initiate after i lay down for a nap.

sorry jeremy, i've met someone new.

his name is steve perry and wherever he goes the sun shines romantically off his long hair and muscle top and he used to be in the band journey and 'open arms' makes me weep uncontrollably. is he wearing a musical note on his gold chain? that's tender AND manly.

i guess i have to admit that i love the 80s eh? the evidence is really mounting up.

sometimes when jeremy isn't home and he comes home and reads what i've been up to on my blog and there's stuff about listening to journey on here he must be like 'thank god i was fishing'.

love you sweetie! i'm just kidding about loving steve perry. but boy do i have a good halloween costume for you.

they just don't make enough of these

everyone must love this song.

there's like a second at the start where you think it's too cheesy to love but then you let down those restrictive barriers and you start to sway and soon you are wearing your headphones and googling the lyrics and singing cindy laupers part.

IT'S SO GREAT! i know i sometimes sound like someone you want to pinch for fun but i really think i'm right in saying if everyone listened to songs like this more (maninthemirror) we would all live happier lives.

mark my words.

i think the best parts of this song are from bruce springsteens part until huey lewis's. steve perry! your power ballad lungs pierce through my 80's heart. also everyone's hair and beards and clothes are so funny i think in the 80's people were all striving to look like space travellers.

you should watch the whole thing and sing along i know you know a line or two and embrace the good feelings cause they'll come knocking just after kenny loggins steps up i swear.

the saddest thing about losing michael jackson is that we won't ever get to be friends

which is sort of a joke but also sort of not cause i have always thought if we were to hang out we'd get along famously.

can you imagine?!

i'd be like 'let's dress up' and michael would have been like 'good idea i have a thousand million fun outfits to dress up in'. or i'd be like 'let's make sandwiches and then moonwalk while we eat them' and he'd be like 'that's what i do every day for lunch'.

oh we would have had a grand time. saving the world, talking about our feelings, passing out each day at neverland in a giant room full of pillows after stuffing ourselves with cotton candy and root beer floats.

and now he's gone and my 1 in 1 gillion chance of that dream coming true is gone with him.

maybe i should just change the dream to be like 'hang out with michael jackson on mars' which is probably where he went anyways.

i'm coming michael! just putting some last sequins on my spacesuit.

once more for the cheap seats in the back

summer oh-eight first and summer oh-nine second. my hair is longer now and jer has on a different pair of plaid shorts but other than that, not much has changed.

sometimes in life being in the same place you were last year is a great thing.

dancing is my life

5, 6, 7, 8!

if i told you how many times in a day when it's just the two of us i break out into a crazy dance, it would be a lot more times than you imagine.

the beach is particularly fun to crazy dance around on cause the sand is like a little tropical treat for your feet.

pumice while you prance! that's what i always say.

nice shoes, baby.

someone from sophie's birthday party said 'she's all lily now' and i totally see it! and not just cause she's sporting stuart weitzmans on her feet.

i still see pete too but those eyes and that smile, all mom.

lily's little girl is beautiful, who'd a thunk? besides everyone?


last weekend this weekend

i feel like this is getting to be a habit of mine, being one week late reporting on the weekend before. i love the time to ponder on it, to look through the photos, to let the good times find a nice home of memory in my sappy summer mind.

i love this picture! it's all grainy like a painting but it's a photograph so it tricked you! the weather is like a new friend this summer. one who loves to change its mind. on the way to the cottage we drove through about 5 different weather systems, all of them moody and fairly fleeting.

you know that thing where old couples start to look like each other? sometimes i feel like that's already begun. maybe we make the same faces or we look the same kind of happy but he looks like family to me in a familiar face way.

here's our friend weather feeling happy! i'm definitely a fan of forest cottages over beach cottages if put me under oath to declare a favourite but beach cottages definitely have their undisputed charms. like how the lake can look like an ocean. and how the sand in your toes can take you to cuba.

my new bikini! it was 15 dollars from walmart and it has polka dots and stripes and i can't say i've ever worn either on a swimsuit and i love it! it's so punchy and coloured. it makes me want to drink orange pop from a straw.

the other charming thing about a beach cottage is the size of the sky when it's uninterrupted by trees. especially with our friend fickle cloud coverage, the weight was tangible and omnipresent. i definitely kept an eye out for the lord.

look how small jeremy is! and how big the world!

and then i grew out of some corn and farmer jeremy came along and picked me and i was sold at a roadside produce stand for 50 cents an ear.

this is the view from the cottage and more of that big big sky. we love that blue fellow and no one ever seems to live in it so next time we're just going to move in and see how long we can stay until our squatter status is challenged.

look how cute the chimney!

the beach has the best sunsets i bet you would go through a hundred bottles of wine watching them from your deck.

this is my very favourite dress from costa rica it was made by someone who sold handmade clothes in a market in a bar just off the beach and i tried on about eight that i loved and this one was my favourite. i almost didn't buy it and jeremy's sister told me i deserved it and i've loved her ever since. (robynn i mean not the dress). (but i love the dress also).

when we got back and it was january and we cried ourselves to sleep at night i used to put it on and feel instantly better.

look it's this shot! we have one of these from last year coming soon and it's just as cheesy don't worry. what is it with oceans/sunsets/being in love? it fills you so wonderfully full of fluff.

i love you sky.

this is a ballet move i can actually hover over the ground now. so can jared. who, by the way, was recently told by his ballet teacher in chicago that he should consider moving up a grade because it would be more at his level. (!!!). i couldn't be prouder if we had a kid and it was doing well in singing class.

my friends are so awesome and diversely talented. ballet dancer, radio host, mom of the year, climber of a mountain in vancouver... it's like i should soon be made famous by association!

then we'll all get rich and put half our money towards buying cottages on this beach and the other half towards inventing a machine that makes it be summer all year.