it's raining it's pouring!

the best thing about rain is the note it writes you to get out of doing anything productive.

you know who is the awesomest?


jeremy is the best guy i know and i love him more every day and whenever i'm in a mood/upset/feeling-some-kind-of-crazy he does a kind of magic and sooner than ever before, i feel better.

how does he do it, you ask? i'm still not quite sure. he must have some special training.

i love you gov'ner.


things that work to cheer you up

a pink sky.

a breakfast picnic.

a lunch time picnic.

hats and hair pieces at value village.


my mj valedictorian speech

there are a couple of things i have realized about michael jackson since he left us all sad and questioning.

first, michael jackson didn't become odd and eccentric. michael jackson always was odd and eccentric. i've watched interviews with him when he was young and abc-ing it up and older and in his red leather signature and in each interview, he was awkward and sensitive and seemingly misplaced in the world. in each interview he talked about having a different pet (boa constrictor, peacock, monkey), in each interview he struggled to answer questions about true friends, (diana ross is a close friend i think? we tell each other everything), in each interview he talks about a normal life as an unfamiliar concept. questions about favourite foods and activities and what he does to unwind stump him completely. he seems to be holding those questions in his mind as someone would a foreign but wonderful notion.

the second thing i've realized about michael jackson is that the 90's were a horrible time for him. still performing, still on tour, still churning out music like only a musical madman could the downward trajectory had begun and i'm sure he never quite understood why. why did everyone love him in the 80's? accept him? celebrate him? then turn on him? expect him to act differently than we've always known him to act? it must have been so hard for him to understand. he must have taken it very personally.

and the songs kept coming.

i watched a fairly recent interview with barbara walters and i could not believe how michael jackson knew better than anyone how michael jackson was viewed. this was a tortured, sad, very much alone man. barbara asked him at one point how he plans to keep his children from the wacko jacko insults when they must inevitably join the world for school and so forth, to which michael replied with a hollow chuckle 'now that's the problem. and i invite you to help me come up with a solution'.

how tragic and knowing.

i think he did have true connections in his life but whether or not he recognized them as such i'm not sure. lisa marie presley was one of those and if you're interested she has a really great letter on the matter on her my space page. elizabeth taylor, eddie murphy, even the late princess diana i know were all friends in high places and i know they saw in him what those who love him do, but how much were these people actually a part of his life. his day to day. did he have a day to day?

michael said that when his son was born the only way he could stop him from crying was to sit him on the floor and dance for him. he'd dance for him for hours. he danced for all of us.

he was our performer. and because he was ours we owed him something back.

did we give it to him? did we accept his gift with thanks? or did we take and raise the bar of our expectations?

people always say that michael jackson was born to perform. that on stage, he was home. i wonder if that's true because there, no one asked him questions he couldn't answer. because there, he could express himself fully within the comfortable confines of his creativity.

his life was his performance and especially in his later years when scandal became more press-worthy than music he allowed that to be. the line between reality and the act blurred but i would argue it never was there to begin with. michael never left the stage. nobody let him.

so there's all this stuff to swallow and all the other things we know are true and sad of his childhood and adult life and you think HOW, how did this person even make it to 50?

and the answer to that is he believed in a good and decent world populated by good and decent people and despite a life full of proof to the contrary, michael jackson kept going because he desired love and believed it was in store for him.

just around the next corner.

i realized yesterday after three days of moping around that we should be thinking now of what michael jackson would want and that it certainly wouldn't involve walking around feeling sorry for ourselves.

michael jackson's message was always a simple one, perhaps overly so, of love and hope and brotherhood and i for one plan to honor him not by scrutinizing his life and the hardships he endured and how his face changed from year to year, but by dancing my heart out every time his songs come on and i invite you to join me in the mission.

turn up the music! slap on your dancing loafers! feel that funky fever!

michael made music to enjoy and so enjoy it! it's a gift unlike any other and thankfully we get to keep it though he's gone! it's what we do with it now that's important and i say we crank it up and moonwalk down the streets!

celebrate life cause it's good and present and we have so much to share with each other! accept people for who they are! without judgement or expectation!

love your friends and your family and tell them often! fill the world with messages of love!

wear a sparkly glove and be proud!

sing 'we are the world' with your friends and 'man in the mirror' in the shower!

it is, truly, what michael jackson would have wanted.

what a dirty diana deal

you know, i always knew michael jackson would make me cry my eyes out.

i just assumed it would be at his concert. right before i passed out and had to be body surfed over peoples heads to security.

this is less fun than that would have been.

and i don't get a t-shirt.

let's all watch then cry then hug then talk about our feelings. it's how he would have wanted it.

i just can't stop loving you

i think the hardest part of losing someone you love is that the world just keeps on turning.

people on the bus talk about work. people on the radio make tasteless jokes. someone on the sidewalk stops to get a hot dog. someone yells at their kid.

and i want to say stop. stop and process this tremendous loss because what we've lost is gone forever.

(unless jared is right and this is all an elaborate hoax and he's gone to live in fiji).

OH MAN. what will we do without michael jackson? what will i do?

one time i told steph about this poster i had as a kid that was kermit the frog dressed up as bad era michael jackson with the buckles and the leather coat and the curly short long hair and she laughed so hard and said it was her new favourite thing about me.

i love that michael jackson is a part of my identity.

i love that i found out yesterday not through the news, but through a barrage of emails and phone calls and text messages from people who had heard and thought first of me.

it's seriously the biggest compliment and comfort.

i woke up in the middle of the night and cried and jeremy hugged me. it just woke me up. the sadness of it just woke me up.

i feel a weight on my chest and an ache in my heart. i want to read all the news and i don't want to read any of it. i want to listen to his music then i want to turn it off.

i want it not to be true.

i love you, michael jackson. thank you is never enough.

was the rainbow for me?

just so's you know i'll be okay.

and i'll write about it soon using all the right words but for now i wanted to tell you i'll be okay.

back when we were trying to get michael jackson tickets, jeremy said he had a 'plan b' for if we didn't get any and tonight he told me he was going to rent out a movie theatre and play a michael jackson concert and invite all my friends.

how wonderful. . .

maybe we'll do it
often as a public event and charge 5 bucks and give the money to charity so it's like sharing michael jackson with the world and helping the needy!

also when he see's my good deeds from heaven he'll surely visit me in my dreams to tell me 'thank you for being my number one fan' and i'll say 'no, thank you. loving you was one of my greatest pleasures'.


i love you when it's summertime.

tell stephie i miss her? does your breeze blow up that far? if jeremy and i pack light can you sweep us on up for the weekend?

oh great let me pack my bags.



what a rainy day! the outdoors is like gulp gulp gulp refreshing though so i try to be happy for the outdoors instead of sad i can't sprawl out on the lawn.

this was my birthday card from jeremy isn't it funny slash cute!? the girl in the boat has an 80's perm and swimsuit which is my favourite thing to wear when we go out in the boat or as i like to call it 'row backwards three decades'.

my window tomato plant and window herbs. i forget what the herbs actually are but the tomato plant smells wonderful! if it yields any actual produce i'll sell them to my neighbours. i mean give them away.

this morning we went to the farmers market and bought a whole bag of oyster mushrooms which will soon be going to an oven party in a pie shell with some eggs and spinach.
quiche quiche quiche!

the last time i was in paris i ate quiche and baguette sandwiches every day because they were 2 euros and i could save my money for buying eiffel tower key chains that light up.

you know, things that really matter.

a dream is a wish your heart makes when birds are giving you a sponge bath

this is how i like to get up on saturday mornings. jeremy's not all together crazy about the birds jumping across our pillow but i keep telling him their little feet get them just so perfectly fluffed.

happy weekend! to you and you and you and you.


you know, we got to talking about roads. . .

we talk about a lot of awesome and strange stuff and it might be because we don't have cable but it also might be because we're both nuts but either way, we cover a lot of ground in our evening chats.

recently we discussed road ways and how old we think the oldest road might be and through further investigations we came across a road in england called the ridgeway which is some 5000-7000 years old and used to be travelled by prehistoric people. like the flintstones!

today the road is a trail you can hike some of which is through forest, some of which is through open meadow and some of which is through magic fairy land (see above).

we're going to hike the entire trail for our first anniversary which is the paper anniversary but i am changing that to the 'hiking ancient roads' anniversary because that's more exciting than paper.

did you know they might turn the gardiner into a green space?

how neat! and so convenient for wildlife to commute now! before they always had to get jobs in the forest but now a whole world of career possibilities stands before them.

i'm pro animals in the work place. unless they're competing for my job.

and the secret thing about that empty apartment space was that jeremy built me a ballet barre!

only that's not even a secret to any of you i don't think but SURPRISE ANYWAYS!

i love it so much it makes me feel like a real ballerina!

we're still searching for a mirror for behind it so i can watch myself doing swan lake but already the barre and the little bare floor area for my giant leaps are working out just so nicely!

thank you jeremy, again, for making my dreams come true.

love the cheesiest person on earth

sunday pic-a-nic

want to come over for a picnic on our lawn? just come on round and ring the doorman he'll let you in and if we're already outside he'll point you in the right direction. we're probably under that big tree.

i like how our place is a little bit estate and a little bit boarding school. lights out at 10! no boys after dark! jeremy's still not quite used to hiding in the closet for nightly room checks.

look steph! more of your clothes! jeremy keeps saying 'is that a new top' and i keep saying 'no i got it from the stephanie perkins moving sale'. i love steph's hand-me-downs. i feel like i'm being environmentally friendly and fashionable all at the same time. and i feel like my stephanie perkins halloween costume has way more outfit options now.

i got this picnic blanket from england with the hopes of one day being able to say 'i got this picnic blanket from england' so mission accomplished! me and my friend derek both got one from the gift shop at stonehenge where we also purchased 'rock cake' which is a bit more appetizing than it sounds but not much.

jeremy made us tuna and apple sammiches which are delightful and fresh and crunchy! we also had pickles and sliced tomatoes and lemonade and potato chips which are all things that go with picnics like ants and watermelon baskets.

i correctly identified my first tree using my birthday present tree guide! it was an american beech and there's a spot in the back that you check off trees that you have correctly identified so i checked it right away and cheersed myself with lemonade to celebrate.

when you lay on your back on the lawn in our place you see trees on all sides with sky in the middle like the trees are a frame and the sky is a picture that's always moving.

and on sunday the picture moves slowly cause you will it so and if it starts to speed up you offer it some lemonade and that mostly always does the trick.


wedding clue

you know whats another best thing about my new job?

on fridays you only work until one.


i went to forever 21 to try on some articles of clothing only everyone and their backpack had the same idea so i 'accidentally' pushed into some people then left.

and anyways it's too sunny out to be in a fitting room lineup!

jeremy it's almost the weekend!!! and i already did all the vacuuming!!! so come on home and let's throw crumbs on the floor!!!

happy friday everyone. happy glorious friday.

if you have a free hour and a half

watch this.

it will knock your homo sapien socks off.

horses horses horses

you know what else jeremy got me for my birthday?!

private horse riding lessons.


MOVE OVER (insert famous horse rider name person), HERE COMES ME!

i wonder if my ballet teacher will make one of her funny faces when i tell her i'm going horseback riding like how she made one when jared told her he was taking an ab class.

when jeremy asked me to guess what my gift was and i said 'a pony' and he said 'close' i couldn't believe my ear holes!

jeremy makes all my dreams come true!

i'm going to carry him off into the sunset with me on my new horse.

pictured above, me after one hour of lessons.

my birfday

my birthday was on tuesday and no i did not tell my new work cause i couldn't think of a way that wasn't like HELLO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY which i realize seems out of character but i'm trying to make a career for myself here so provisions to my outlandish need to declare things must be made.

i did have a wonderful night relaxing with jeremy, though. complete with tacos which is a jennifer robeson birthday tradition. 29 years running. jeremy asked if i would like if he made them from scratch instead which i'm sure i would, i just like them so much how old el paso makes them it feels unnecessary to attempt something new. but everything else you want to make from scratch my love you just march on forward and i'll follow behind with my mouth open!

and i loved all your phone messages, (jared your michael jackson rendition of happy birthday was a keeper and lily i think next year is the year sophie will pipe in for background vocals) and text messages and emails and i feel so BLESSED to have such wonderful friends and family and especially when you guys give me nice stuff. material and otherwise.

happy birthday to me! 29 eh? that sounds adult. and me and all my finger paints.

steph said when she was done wrapping up this gift she thought it looked like me. isn't that nice? i love that. i wonder if i'm the apple on top with the leaf.

i love steph cd's! which is why she's just the perfect and oh so obvious choice for wedding disc jockey. 'back yardin' is my favourite song on here but they're all great and personal which is just like music to my ears. GET IT?!

here it is! ol birthday meal reliable! the tacos now have those flat parts on the bottom so they stand up instead of fall over spilling out the contents but other than that nothing has changed about how you make them or stuff the parts in there. jeremy called me 'general taco' when he was making them cause i was like NO NO NO YOU'RE BROWNING THE MEAT ALL WRONG!

general taco doesn't mean to be rude though, she's just had years and years of experience.

my mom made this for me for my birthday. she MADE this. to someone whose own creation of a house made out of popsicle sticks and sea shells is amazing, this is almost unbelievable. she even has a little sticker on the bottom with her company name and address. oh yeah, my mom makes stuff.

i picture a cottage ledge home for this fellow in the future. for now i'll look at it and wonder how come genetics don't pass along things like glass cutting and welding arts.

jeremy got me gifts in the morning and gifts in the evening and i love that cause then it feels like your birthday is all day long. which it is. but you know what i mean.

everytime we talk about trees (which happens surprisingly often), we talk about how it would be so nice to be able to identify trees and be like 'oh yes that's a wellington sugar maple' or whatever so this gift of three guide books was very awesome and thoughtful and up next i will show you a photo of an owl from the bird book that will knock your socks off.

tonight we're going to go out and identify one of the tree's in our backyard/estate grounds.

HA! look at the guy in the bottom right corner. do you think he even has eyelids? he looks like he hasn't blinked since 1980. which is the year of my birth so his eyes must be some dry!

you know what was the best birthday voicemail message? grandmas. she said all sorts of lovely grandma stuff that makes you feel 8 again but the best part was when she said 'you just have your whole life ahead of you'

and i really and truly believe it.


or is everyone now reading the globe and mail instead?

hello! i'm here! i'm great and happy! and one year older!

i'll do some mini posts next about the individual topics i wish to address but this is a 'hello' and a 'i miss you' to you and you and you.

the new job is still great and still new and still consuming of all my time and thoughts and by the time i get home at night i have enough energy to fall into jeremy's arms and lift a beer up to my lips which is really all the energy one should require at the end of a hard days work.

a hard days work. . .

i feel like i've never used those words before and meant them in a proud to be workin' hard kinda way.

is everyone happy? wondering why they're in sweaters in june? excited it's almost the weekend?

oh yeah me too. see we're all connected in thoughts anyways. my friend natasha calls it 'mind mail' which is like email but mental and you never have to worry about addressing a mind mail to the wrong person if you just think really, really hard.

i'm sending you one now.


day one down! many more to go!

so i've officially completed my first day of work and i can officially say i love it. well maybe i should wait until it's been officially a week but unofficially i think i will say the same thing then.

i knew it was going to be a great first day when a honey jar and a pink thumb puppet with one eye falling off were my welcome gifts. how perfect! and both of them homemade!

and everyone was warm and friendly and even when they got down to business they were still kind and approachable and even the big boss guy came over twice to ask how i was doing and to let me know how happy he was i was there.

gee wizards!!

i don't want to get all jumpy conclusiony here but this place could work juuuuuuuuuust right.

i even stayed late! voluntarily!

so now i'm having tea and cookies and a little re-cap with myself. later i'll have some wine and a little re-cap with my love. after that i'll sleep soundly dreaming i've left my crummy job and am working somewhere neat.

and tomorrow i'll wake up and it will still be true.



i got a lot of nice gifts when i quit my job which just goes to show you that quitting is good on many levels!

any kind of presents are nice but presents that are personal and meaningful are lovely because they tell you that the gift giver really took the time to get to know your personal tastes. or that you talk about yourself a lot at work.

either way! gifts for me!

i got a jar of homemade pickles, a yellow orchid, two magic pen books and a giant box of raisinettes.

this gift giving bonanza wasn't one sided either. to the people i left behind i gave my shakespeare head kleenex box, my plastic army man and my hand-made smiley face post-it note. such treasures!

i hope they think of me every time they pull a kleenex out of shakespeare's nostril.

a baby and some barbecue

there's a lot to consider when taking a candid photo

and the longer you're friends with someone, the more efficient you become with all the considerations.

like lily is better at taking the picture because she's taller and her arms are longer. and i should always be slightly behind lily because my head is bigger.

did you know her pea head is smaller than mine? one time i tried to wear one of her hats and it sat on the top of my head like a coaster.

to celebrate my last day of work. . .

i came in an hour early!

darn bedroom alarm clock wrong time!

you know what it's like to leave the people you like in a bad job? kind of like you're being let out of the army at the end of a war only some of the people have to stay back and continue to fight and you get to go home and eat ice cream.

it's sad to leave these people! my comrades in battle!

i'm so excited to start my new job and i know in my mooshy pea soup heart that it's the right time and move for me.

i will look back fondly on this war we fought together. and hope for peace to find them soon.


UP will take you away

and not just because it's 3d. although that does add a neat dimension (HAR) to the film it's the story and the characters that really move you right along with them.

it's sad and happy and thoughtful and sweet and when it comes out on dvd i'm going to buy 12 copies and give them as christmas gifts. or watch them all at once on 12 different television sets and explode from cuteness overload.

this is a BEAUTIFUL movie. that just happens to also be an adorable cartoon.

oh my eyes yeah

i had my last follow up new eyeball appointment this morning and found out i have better than perfect vision!

meaning i can now see through clothes/rocks/walls/heavy forest!

i’m going to start a side business where people can hire me for my super vision but i won’t charge people because i don’t think super powers should be used to make profits.

or i will charge people but only enough to buy myself a sandwich.

third times a charm (or third times the best gosh darn apartment)

OHHH! it's just so lovely. right now jer and i feel like we're starting a relationship with someone new. we love to hang out with our new apartment and tell it how much we like it and compliment it on its numerous attractive attributes.

soon it will meet our parents!

jeremy took this picture because he liked how this is basically all of our stuff. add a bed and a dresser and some clothes but as far as decorative house furnishings, this is it. a red lady buddha, a chalkboard, a ukelele and a giant glass full of corks because we drink to fill the void of commercial goods.

the rainy day room! as named by jeremy. but you can go in on any kind of day. grab some pillows from the corner! make a fort! read a book! eat some cheetos! clean up when you leave!

one of the five trillion things i love about jeremy is that when i ask 'may i please have this frog fairy lamp' he says 'yes ok sure'. HOW CUTE?! i said it reminded me of the two of us and he gave me a funny look but i know he sees it too.

i love our pointy footwear and jeremy's red pants.

jeremy's new kitchen! it's so big and bright and clean! i can see the future in here and it looks very tasty!

something very exciting will be happening with this space. STAY TUNED! oh it's so neat to have a place with space you can ponder upon. it might be the best thing about a brand new place; what will go here and what will go there and where should my popsicle stick house live!

first mail in the new place! i love the horse stamps on the parcel. HORSES HORSES HORSES. i sense a new blog theme.

lily i opened this up; there's no pony inside.

a house isn't a home without a jeremy reading on the couch.

look how much light! i feel like we have a new roomate in sunlight and sunlight is more than welcome! so long as he pulls his weight with the cleaning chores.

i love this table and in the last apartment it lived in storage. or, depending how you look at it, was hibernating for the winter.

sometimes we sit at opposite ends and yell PASS THE BUTTER!

by far the most perfect place for my desk. since jeremy bought me this for me for my birthday last year we (me and desk) have been forever in pursuit of a perfect desk nook and this be it.

come on over and write a note! eat some cheetos! get out of the seat when i want to sit there!

view from the dining room window.

view from the kitchen window.

view from the bedroom window.

some people buy bags of rocks from ikea for six dollars. other people collect bags of rocks while camping and store the rocks in a bag in the closet for a year and then pull them out to put them on a new candle tray and look proudly at them remembering how much fun they had collecting them together.

those people are weird. and so happy in their new home.