thursdays child

i was thinking today about this poem and i don't think it's a very accurate piece of literature since i was born on a wednesday and am certainly not full of woe.

full of the straw they put inside those stuffed animal prizes at the fair maybe, but no woe.

Monday's child is fair of face.
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Wednesday's child is full of woe.
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving.
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on Sunday
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

also i clearly wasn't been born on either a saturday or tuesday.

lil' lily

sharing

sometimes when the person you love with all your heart goes away on a fishing trip you are sad because you are going to miss them.

then you wake up at 7 am to sing 'we are the world' and you remember being alone does have its advantages.

how to: impersonate a lawn sprinkler

step one: stand with your feet firmly together on the lawn

step two: put your arms together up over your head

step three: standing firmly in place, sway your arms gently back and forth

step four: make this sound FFFFFFshhhhhFFFFFFshhhhhhh

step five (optional): spit water at far left and far right swaying positions

reason # 5674739925857 why i love jeremy

he made me a michael jackson top!

and here it is!

as god is my witness i will never take it off for as long as i live!

or until tomorrow morning when i have to put on work clothes, whichever comes first.

gee wiz

i love these cards so much that when i first found them i read every single one of them in the store.

then i bought one so the store clerk wouldn't think i was a loiterer.

buy some and send some and keep some for yourself.

reason # 53429824546 why i love camping

the cool campsite names!

here are a few i especially adore. . .

- silent lake (this is not an ideal camping spot for me)

- pancake bay

- batchawana (betcha wanna camp there!)

- rainbow falls

- sleeping giant provincial park (is probably next to silent lake)

name meaning decoded

guess who!

eric and bernard from 'guess who' the game look like these two fellows from 'the guess who' the band.

obviously bernard's put on a bit of weight since he left the board game character business. and eric must have decided he'd rather be a brunette cowboy than a blonde sea captain.

WOWSA

today my friend derek really knocked my socks off with some shocking news so in his honour i would like to start up a little reoccurring program entitled shock me tuesdays where i share something rather bananas every week the day after monday.

preeeeee-senting tuesday shocker number one!

sign here

i read in the news yesterday that david beckham signed an endorsement deal with sharpie markers and in the article he said that he felt that was really great because sharpie markers are what he likes to use when he signs autographs.

if i was a famous person i would sign my autographs using either crayons, novelty pens or gigantic pencils.

persistent but ill-prepared fellow

the same butterfly who came and banged into the window at work a few weeks ago was back again today.

this time i went outside and said ‘fine! you would rather work inside than flutter about outside all day, hand over your resume and cover letter!’ and would you believe, the butterfly didn’t even have either of those things!

reality shmeality

regards, peter rabbit.

today is beatrix potter's birthday!

i have and love many of her stories but my favourites are jeremy fisher, squirrel nutkin and the one about the porcupine who wears a bonnet.

here are some other things i love about her work:

- the teenie weenie size of the books

- how she dresses frogs in waistcoats

- the important lessons she teaches in her tales (like for example how you should not be lazy if you're a squirrel because an owl will swoop down and take off your tail)

happy birthday bp!

if you were alive i'd invite you over for tea and cupcakes and you could draw the animals i see in my backyard, (mostly raccoons and stray dogs but you're a genius so i'm sure you'd figure something out).

fancy jewelry cut-outs

(for fancy sunday dinners).

how to: fool your chivalrous boyfriend at the supermarket

step one: accept his offer to carry all of the groceries around.

step two: announce that if he insists on carrying the groceries, you'll insist on carrying the imaginary groceries.

step three: struggle visibly with a heavy armload of imaginary flour, imaginary sugar, and an imaginary case of pop.

misleading labeling

sadly, there were no large rainbows in here
only rainbow coloured muffin liners
i KNEW $1.99 was too good a price!

missed opportunity

at the wedding we went to last weekend everyone released a butterfly from a cardboard container where they were napping i suppose, waiting for their moment.

i wish i had have just pretended to release mine and instead shoved it in my purse, brought it back to toronto, helped it find a job and an apartment and an affordable, appropriately sized mode of transportation.

then it could climb up the butterfly corporate ladder and make it big in the butterfly world and at it's retirement banquet surrounded by all its butterfly family, friends and co-workers, it would say a beautiful butterfly speech and thank me for giving it the opportunity that led to all of it's butterfly success.

potayto potawto

sometimes the person you live with doesn't always agree with your choices.

for example they may think your idea to spit watermelon seeds into a bucket in the living room is 'gross' rather than 'good fun'.

dreadlock rasta

this nearly dead sunflower looks a bit like corn husks in this picture. or a droopy, dried flower version of bob marley.

ARGGGG!

previous misconception of pirates:

jolly men with beards who drink rum punch and can often be heard singing the modern major general song.

current understanding of pirates:

crazy criminals who never sing show tunes.

fun to try to sing anyways:

video

is lily preparing for..

a) a baby girl?

or

b) a clothing store for female gnomes and other exceptionally small women?

alone time

good thing the count keeps track

letters

ribbit

i love frogs.

i love kermit and jeremy fisher and frog of 'frog and toad' fame.

i even love frogger but i wish he would be more safe crossing the road.

stevie keeps it short and sweet

two classic rain songs with new twist endings

taco tuesday

today at work i was given the very important job of finding a mexican restaurant that does take-away for lunch.

i loved this task so much i made lists and took polls and considered reviews and shouted OLE! to get in the spirit.

i wish all the items on my work 'to do' list were as thrilling and critically important.

how to: build your own home by the river

step one: lay a solid popsicle stick foundation.

step two: glue seashell shingles to the roof.

step three: build some land with a river and a popsicle stick bridge to get safely across for when you need to go to town for groceries.

step four: plant some construction paper flowers.

step five: shrink down in size and move in.

monday mishap

i sneezed so hard just now my head rolled off and i had to go get it and put it back on which was really difficult as i couldn’t see where my head went because that's also where my eyes were.

i could only try to help my fumbling, headless self by yelling things like 'OVER HERE!' and 'YOU'RE GETTING WARMER!'

very frustrating indeed.

triple dog dare

i dare anyone to watch and listen to this and not break out into a funky, funky dance.

BOOGIE ON!

also this is my favourite sweater vest with a sequined star, of any sweater vest with a sequined star that ever was.

clickety-click here

today's special

if you had diamonds on the soles of your shoes no one would invite you over for dinner cause you'd scratch up their floor.

my hair in the heat

rainy day wedding (a very beautiful story)

yesterday we went to my friends layla and mathias’ wedding and it rained through the entire outdoor ceremony and dinner.

people made do and moved the lawn vows to a tent where folks piled in and strained to see layla and mathias exchange words of love, unaware of the downpour and heavy heat all around them.

after, the guests helped move the tables and chairs set up on the lawn to under the tent, working together, quickly learning each others names as people do when it’s needed that they work fast for a common good. layla handed out napkins to dry off the tables, people squished closely to their neighbour to fit in, bottles of wine were opened and glasses were filled and nowhere was there a word of disappointment.

and after dinner, the sky cleared.

the guests took their chairs and brought them out on the lawn and there were speeches and toasts and cutting of the cake and when that was done the chairs were moved back and the band started up and shoes came off and dancing began.

"the rain stopped for dancing!" i heard, "how perfectly did this turn out" someone said, and layla looked beautiful and all-knowing.

then the band started to play ‘all you need is love’ and the rain came down from the first note and no one stopped dancing. no one skipped a beat, everyone held someone’s hand, jeremy and i put our faces up to the rain while we moved together, and it was the most romantic thing i’d ever been part of.

eat this

this cracker is called 'crisp and thin whole grain with flax and honey' by presidents choice and if i were the president i would only eat these. and the occasional saltine.

they are kinda sweet, and kinda salty and mighty delicious with goat cheese on top or naked with nothing on top.

also, i added the smile because if i was this cracker i would be very happy knowing i was so very tasty.

fresh fruit fashions

conundrum

this was an actual question on a quiz i took today. i think i spent my whole lunch hour trying to decide but i just CAN'T, OK??!?

i chose all the above. or death.

BAM!

du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!

du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!

(i don't know any more parts to this song)

du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!

du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!

things my friends dog did in my apartment that prove she likes it here

- repeatedly licked/chewed my ottoman

- cleaned loose gravel out from hole in the wall near front entrance

- didn't pee on my floor

- tried to take my curtains with her using a 'bite and run' method

lunchy love

letters

dear michael jackson,

tomorrow night i am going to see someone pretend to be you and perform the entire thriller album at a bar here in toronto (that's where i live, are you coming any time soon? drop by for a visit!)

anyways, even though i am very aware this person will just be an 'imposter' i may pretend it's you for fun, you know, to get the most out of my 13$ ticket.

just know, michael joseph jackson, that however much i may be able to love an impersonator who may or may not pull you off, i always love you most of all.

even more than peanut butter sandwiches. with banana.

sincerely,

jennifer robeson

ps if you don't want to start up a show in las vegas i totally understand. especially after what happened to that siegfried & roy fellow.

family ties

this is a photo of my grandparents on their honeymoon.

although it is a tad disturbing that the picture taker appears to have come out from behind a bush, i love this snapshot and hope i get to spend my honeymoon in much the same manner.

in my swimsuit, in a lake, being filmed by strangers.

gang members

jenny-fer cairns. you share my name and my love of camping.


you have a new dog who may be the cutest dog ever that isn't a cartoon.


also, you've been to approximately five hundred thousand places in the world and because you take beautiful photos and share them with me, you've made me feel i've been there too.

ironman/hangman

instead of your usual biking/swimming/running regiment, triathlons really should open themselves up to other game pairing possibilities.

here are a few options that come to mind:

-horseshoes/hangman/checkers

-jump rope/limbo/i spy with my little eye

-arm circles/moonwalking/snowman building (seasonal)

i would sign myself up for every one of those triathlons. no matter how vigorous the training.

athletic event planners, take note!

look-a-look-a-look-a

i might (maybe) have a little crush on a you tube video right now. perhaps.

this fellow named matthew traveled all over the world and had himself filmed doing a hilarious jig with all of the local people of the far off places he visited.

and what i have to say to this kooky venture is YES PLEASE!

i would like many more people to do things like that because it's very wonderful and entertaining and it gives me good new ideas for things i can make believe in my living room.

Dancing Video

doh!

hot wheels

my bike and jeremy's bike are in love with each other!

here are some clues i have picked up on to prove this:

- they always like to be very close in the hallway (see photo proof)

-when i ride my bike without jeremy, my bike seems a little mopey

-even though jeremy's bike is way more athletic because it goes places every day, it never shows off or makes my bike feel badly which is a sign of true, unselfish bike love

new career path

i came across this wanted poster at my local grocers and promptly quit my job to pursue doll bounty hunting.

i wonder what they're wanted for? doll murder? petty doll theft of plastic doll shoes, doll houses and doll accessories?

i bet the one in the middle is a notorious criminal in the doll world who goes around to other dolls and shoves their plastic eyelids up so far that they don't come down properly ever again.

i must see to it she is found and brought to the proper doll authorities!*

*after i collect my $100 and up.

glue review

crayola project glue is really a terrific type of glue for just about any crafty project you can think of.

it dries clear which is great if you're a spastic glue dumper like me and it's also washable so if you spastically dump glue where drying clear isn't the only issue - it's no problem!

lastly it has this wonderful cap hook on the front of the bottle so when you're using the glue you can affix the lid to the lid hook, avoiding losing the lid and wasting precious crafty time searching for it.

i give this awesome adhesive 5 out of 5 perfectly glued macaroni cards.

conspiracy theory

fido dido and the dummies guy are the same person!

note the head shape, shared love of pointing and expressive eyebrows.

today's special

it's impossible to feel stressed at work when every time you use the restroom, you do jumping jacks in front of the mirror.

A+

these are all real comments from old report cards of mine proving yet again i'm the same person i was in grade school.

tina asks some tough questions

well read rabbit

at the used bookstore near my house there lives a bunny, the owners bunny, whose name is pumpkin.

at night after the store is closed pumpkin gets to leave his cage and have free range of the bookstore.

i bet pumpkin always heads right for the archie comics.

a dandy of a sunday

'easy as pie' is a misleading saying

sometimes you make something and it looks tasty and wonderful and you had so much fun baking it but you take one bite and you say 'mmmmmm!' cause you have guests but you want to say 'OH MY GORDON ALMIGHTY WHAT IN HECK'S NAME DID I JUST DO!?!'

this pie was a joy to make and a neat thing to do with friends on a saturday afternoon but would have made better fraggle food than an edible desert product intended for humans.

q & a

kermit the frog's question: why are there so many songs about rainbows?

jennifer robeson's answer: there are so many songs about rainbows because people like to write songs about pleasantries and a rainbow is the nicest kind of pleasantry as it's possible you might find a pot of gold at the end of one. also they are very beautiful to look at and paint with watercolours.

judge a book by it's cover

i bet this movie is about a guy who really loves the rain so much that he refuses to buy an umbrella even though he has a condition where every time it rains, he shrinks a little.

and the towns people go to great lengths to get him to wear an umbrella, (like hiring dancers with beautiful rain wear to follow him around and sing about covering up from the weather), but he refuses and continues to get smaller and smaller.

until one day he has shrunk down so small, that a giant raindrop takes him out and washes him away into the gutter where he finds a paper boat and lives quite happily for many years as the tiny captain of the underground river ways.

POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

letters

dearest nephew,

you turned 13 last month but i am a very forgetful aunt sometimes and i am just remembering this now. the good news is, memory does not have anything to do with how much i love you which is still a whole lot so yay for that!

remember when we lived together? that was back when you were wee and i was 16 and in many ways still wee myself but i did not wee my pants that i remember so i guess i was smarter than you in some ways. HA! if you don't find this funny, just forget i said that but if you do find it funny i hope you laugh so hard milk came out your nose. or beer? do you drink beer yet? maybe white wine spritzers?

anyways happy birthday bozo, and i'm sorry i kept you up all those nights singing and making you try on different outfits when you were between the ages of 0 to 3. wait, no i'm not but i hope you still like me anyways cause i have always loved you even when you couldn't form sentences.

love always,

auntie

bad seed

it was such a pleasant daisy patch until mitch moved in...