over here getting an education

the reason i've been off you see it's that i've been sandwiched between some paperbacks with j.d. salinger. after catcher it was nine stories which i just now finished on the bus ride home from work. my favourite one was teddy.

even though it broke my heart.

also i read the july issue of vanity fair. the one with elizabeth taylor on the cover and the article of her long love affair with richard burton. what an epic romance!

though they'd been divorced for years, he still wrote her love letters. he wrote her one the day he died that she'd receive coming home from his funeral. it's the one letter she wouldn't let vanity fair reproduce. it's the one letter she still keeps in her nightstand.

also we have our winner for the pretty lady competition. wowsa.

and two more last things - one, my orchid is starting to bloom and two, we saw the moon through my new binoculars and i'm here to tell you the moon up close is the coolest thing ever.

second to orchids.

holy bing boo bonanza, did i ever LOVE this book. our new york city guide mentioned it and i remembered that jer had a copy and i picked it up two days ago and finished it last night.

and what a finish! so joyous i could cry.

it's funny to read people's interpretations of books after you're done reading them. it can be so affirming when they agree and so strange and foreign when they don't. like they must have read a different book. like they must have met a different holden.




the smart way to say it is stream of conscious narrative but i say i felt like he was telling me the story himself. it was personal and intimate and i laughed like i did in complicated kindness when the sarcasm hits you in that funny spot. right on the nose.

to j.d. salinger, thank you for being a beautiful writer.

and to jeremy, thank you for having beautifully written books hidden in our bookshelves for me to find when it's the right time.

this guy was napping on my quilt when i got home. he looked real comfortable too. like earlier he'd made a sandwich and watched some shows on dvd.



i put him in a jar and stuck him on the window ledge and he stayed there for a moment, probably thinking of the fun he'd had. probably wishing he could stay.

but you can't stay, bee! you'd make the guests nervous and we have no bath towels that come in your size.

jeremy said 'this is my second favourite dinosaur' and i said 'well we better take your picture with it' and jeremy said 'okay'.

jeremy also said 'you're not going to put these photos of me on your blog are you?' and i said 'no' but i had my fingers crossed.

dinosaurs are HUGE. the one in the museum entrance was so massive i couldn't get the whole thing in one shot.

also the royal ontario museum could fit in the cloakroom of this museum. we had to eventually give up or we'd still be there but the dinosaur section alone is an entire floor of rooms. mammal dinosaurs and bird dinosaurs and ocean dinosaurs! dinosaurs for everyone!

the couple waiting to take their picture at the tyrannosaurus rex were laughing when jer said 'pretend like you're running away'. pretend? who's pretending!

i wonder how dinosaurs celebrated their birthdays. i bet they ripped open their presents with their head horns.

to the man who took me to the city. to the man who indulged me in everything. to the man who held my hand in the fancy lingerie store cause i'm 30 and still embarrassed by lace garters, thank you.

when i think about life and its numbered years i think it's not enough time to thank you for everything you've already done. add to that a lifetime more of things to be thankful for and i better start writing the card out now.

it will need to have chapters.

i feel i was born to be with you. i feel a sense of ease and presence just being near you. like the static of the moments we share is a third person in our love story, a real living tie that binds me to you.

i am yours, reaching further than the meaning of our present understanding. i am yours eternal. in this life and all lives. in this time and forever.

new york is neat.

it’s like we had a two-week holiday in four days time and the new york city i'll remember is a modern art painting of people and buildings and the four lovely dresses jeremy bought me that are now laying out on the bed. asking when they get to go back.

i had to write things down as we did them and am i ever glad i did as even now, one day back, it’s starting to blur into one giant apple of fun times.

we had a picnic in central park on saturday with sandwiches on fresh baked breads, and vanilla pistachio macaroons.


i took my shoes off and felt the new york city grass between my toes. felt like toronto grass but more metropolitan.




we saw a gallery with warhol prints and dali originals and a wooden floor that clung to the light spilling in from the door. like its own performance art piece on wood's love affair with sunshine.


we saw hangman's elm in washington square park, the oldest tree in manhattan. we were looking and looking with our city map and mixed up internal directions and all of a sudden, there she was. massive and looming and 330 years old.


framing everything around her with broad, sweeping arms.


we saw dinosaurs at the natural history museum and stars at the planetarium. we spent an evening in the hotel lobby bar drinking dirty martinis.

everything felt so new york.


there were spots we came upon by accident, spots perfect for our personal finding. it seemed the magic of the city in fact that something that felt like yours could be found in a sea of happenings.



and there was shopping. and my husband spoiling me. and the half an hour i took out of our trip to photograph my four new loves.


i'd be hard pressed against the chrysler building to pick a favourite new york thing but something i loved and didn't know i'd cared for was the architecture.

what strength! what height! what beauty comes of old brick and new steel rubbing noses with the sky!



i took a million photos looking up, struggling to include the tops.


i feel like so much in popular culture will take on new meaning having been there now, beholding the subject of so many movies and songs and t-shirt catch phrases.


on the way home from the airport we saw a girl with one of those t-shirts on that you've seen a million times before that say i heart ny only this time i thought, 'yeah yeah,

me too.'

next week i'll be thirty years old. thirty years! thirty years and i still have all the same likes and dislikes that i did when i was 3.

like colouring on the floor.

in bare feet.

and dressing myself with creative flair.

and playing in the dirt.

it seems like 30 is a good time to look at your life and see the direction it's taken and do a bit of a summary evaluation of its course. i like my course. i like that looking back at little me and medium me and present day me that there's a recognizable continuum that ties the timeline of me's all together.

i like me.

go me, it's your birthday.

as the weather heats up and bathing trunks are re-introduced as household lounge wear, us sorrells look to our roster of cook-free meals as an alternative to turning on the oven and sandwiches just might be our favourite.

they're delicious, come in endless varieties, and they're a meal i can take on with confidence and creative enthusiasm. i'm not just making dinner! i'm making art! look at all these layers!

last week i made an entire three course meal of sandwiches. first a sub themed sandwich with lettuce and turkey and cheese cut into triangles.


then a ham and old cheddar on rye with seed mustard. don't forget the pickle.

and for dessert, peanut butter and jam quesadillas.

as i licked the peanut butter off my fingers at the end of our sandwich smorgasbord i wondered, what can't sandwiches accomplish if they put their minds to it?

not a whole wheat heck of a lot, i can tell you.