this little piggy had roast beef

you know, i only had roast beef the one time. i won a draw at work for a gourmet food basket of jams and preserves and a seasoned beef roast from a local butcher. it was much too big for me and i’m mainly a vegetarian but i entered the draw for the jams and never really thought i'd win.

it’s not that i’m ungrateful; i was excited to actually win something. the only other time i've won anything was when i spent a quarter on a gumball machine at the video store and got a clear plastic ball with a voucher for a free rental. i felt silly saying it then but all i really wanted was some gum. you can't blow bubbles with a voucher.

i thought about giving the roast away to my neighbour, who had none of his own, but he politely declined and insisted that doing without was a personal choice and not a shortcoming. i had to concur.

i tried offering it to my friend the next town over but each time i’d call he’d be out to market. his roomate (who’d answer) was willing to accept but quite preferred to stay home and i didn't want to take a roast on transit.

just after my neighbour had politely declined i sat down on the curb in front of my house. the roast on my lap, (which was with me just in case), i focused on clearing my mind so a good idea could visit. and it was just in that moment that a stranger on a bicycle stopped at my foot and cheerfully rang his bell.

he asked what i was doing with a roast beef on my lap and i told him the whole sad story and he smiled as he got down from his seat and sat beside me on the curb. his hand resting in a friendly fashion on my shoulder he told me he was planning a dinner party and had become overwrought with what to make. he decided to go for a bike ride, he said, to help clear his mind so a good idea could visit.

after we’d secured the roast to his basket and shook hands for our very good fortunes, he started off down my street shouting 'wee! wee! wee!' which i imagine he continued all the way to his home.


melly said...

I love it. Love it. Love it.
I have this fun collection of short funny stories for kids at home. I'll bring it in for you. You'll love it.

steph said...

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so good. classic. im excited for the pictures to accompany this story? or something else special to accompany that might involve fabric that looks like meat? mmmm?

jennifer sorrell said...

WEE! i was thinking pictures but you just inspired me to make a 3D version too.

bacon bookmarks!

steph said...


Tara said...

Great story.