sometimes i think if it wasn't for jeremy i'd just be eating sour cream and bacon chips for dinner every night

like i am right now. because he's at school.

and he doesn't just improve my dietary intake. when i think about all the ways that he makes me a better version of myself i wonder what the pay off is for him? besides his wife not having early onset diabetes?

in general i think he makes me more responsible which sounds boring but what i mean to say is i look at life differently knowing i'm living mine for the two of us. work takes on a more important function when it's providing for our family. health moves to the front burner when you want to spend your life with someone and you want that life to be a long one. questions unfold into more questions when you're considering the thoughts and feelings and well being of someone other than just you.

this may all sound so obvious but truthfully i have lots to learn about being selfless. jeremy teaches me these lessons by the way that he loves and accepts and encourages and considers me before all else. before even himself. sometimes i wonder if i'm capable of that sort of abandon. sometimes i wonder if there are reasons for my being guarded other than just that i like being the boss of me. i like to wake up and make noise. i like to go to sleep in my own nook. i like to wear jeremy's fresh clean socks as ear muffs at the same time he needs to put them on and leave for work.

but the way that he is with me. the way that he sees me. the way that he can hug me when i'm worked up in a tizzy and in that way rescue me from myself - well i've never experienced anything like that.

in the gooshiest possible way, jeremy makes me a better person. and the road to that just may begin with eating all four food groups.

1 comment:

Jennyflower's Mom said...

wow...eating chips never makes me so profound...