my favourite neighbour

i think he's a pretty good tenant, quiet and respectful of others.

come to think of it though i've never seen him taking out the garbage but maybe he does all sorts of general upkeep in the apartment that i don't know about cause i only ever see him through the window.

lily billy bo billy banana fana fo filly

lily is my very classy friend who is soon going to be a mother and i know when the baby comes, i'm going to wish i was also 7 pounds so i could fit into the beautiful dresses lily's going to dress her in.

how to: make love notes with household objects

pictured above my sweet jeremy used teabags and noodles but the sky is the limit!

maybe just don't use ketchup or mustard unless you're writing out your love note on a hot dog.

city birds are scaredy cats

i saw a little bird sitting on the side of the highway and i thought he must be very brave compared to most birds.

especially the ones in my neighborhood who fly away when i walk by them and swing my purse in too rambunctious a manner.

swiss army camping shoes

tie game

today i was thinking about if i love michael jackson or camping more and i think it's actually a tie.

also it's funny to picture michael jackson camping. i wonder if he goes "EEE-HOO" everytime he roasts himself a perfect hot dog.

bears give up too easily

you know the song that goes like this:

the bear went over the mountain,
the bear went over the mountain,
the bear went over the mountain,
to see what he could see

and all that he could see,
and all that he could see,
was the other side of the mountain,
the other side of the mountain,
the other side of the mountain,
was all that he could see.

well i wonder if the bear could only see the other side of the mountain because he didn't bother to turn around.

and maybe if he went over one more mountain he would have found some sort of wonderful bear oasis with lots of single lady bears and salmon steaks.

too bad he'll never know cause he has a bad bear attitude.

secret garden

my friends whose names start with a D and a J got a new backyard courtesy of a home renovation tv show which will remain nameless partly because all of this is a secret until it airs on television and partly because i forget the name of the show.

last night i got to go see the new top secret backyard and it’s BEAUTIFUL in my confidential off the record opinion and because you can’t take photos of it until after it’s been on television i drew a picture highlighting my especially favourite parts.

things i've thought about this week

today's special

whenever i pick up a shell and hold it up to my ear and don't hear the ocean, i think it's probably because of plastic bags and global warming.

camping food

letters

dear campsite,

i can't wait to live on you from friday night until sunday at approximately lunch time!

i hope you have lots of trees on you and a fire pit and a picnic bench and a flat area to put my tent on would be nice also if that isn't too much to ask.

last year i stayed at another campsite (arrowhead provincial park site 776, are you friends?) and it was very ideal because it was close to the washroom but not too close that it smelled funny.

anyways i won't keep you long, i know you're busy probably entertaining other guests, (how do you do it?!), but i can't wait to meet you and to sing songs around your fire pit and to bring a pound of you home in my knapsack.

your friend,

jenn robeson

today's special

jeremy got me a card that says 'the older you get the better you get unless you are a banana', which is funny but not really true because if you put old bananas in the freezer you can make banana bread with them and i imagine that's a fine fate.

my gang members

stephanie perkins is special.

she writes, she naps, she makes a mean pot of tea.

she loves old music, new clothes, and great big vans.

steph loves the summer so much that i think the summer must love her right back because it seems too wonderful a love to not be reciprocal.

it's okay to freak out in public

today a lady at work who is normally very good natured and laid back had a very public outburst.

after i knew for sure it had nothing to do with her not liking the peanut butter cookie i got for her an hour earlier, i had some thoughts about how freaking out from time to time is a good thing.

when i heard the nice work lady yelling, i didn't think "what's her problem?", i thought "yay! a human being!"

i think everyone should practice freaking out more in public. it feels good and reminds you that you aren't a robot and it makes the people who do it frequently feel better about themselves.

chopsticks

one time i was out for chinese food with my mom and step-dad and my step-dad's fortune inside his fortune cookie said 'help i'm stuck inside a fortune cookie factory!'.

how to: catch me (if i was a mermaid)

i love the ballet

last night jeremy and i went to see the national ballet of canada and it was so wonderful and magical and beautiful that now i'm going to be wearing these around the house all the time for probably about 2 weeks or more.

pregnant lily

you can't live inside a vaccum

people say this expression and i think it means, 'you can't function on your own', 'you need others' etc but i was thinking today about what would be so bad about living inside a vacuum for real and i came up with some interesting discoveries. here are some of those.

1) it would be pretty easy to get a good nights sleep in the vacuum cause it's so dark in there.

2) the cool echo would make it so you never feel alone.

3) there would be lots of uninterrupted reading time so long as you had a lamp.

4) you could make a crazy house with hair and scraps of paper and bobby pins.

5) if you actually were small enough to live inside a vacuum, you would be a miracle of mankind and probably very rich and famous for that.

how to: build an awesome fort

step one: put two chairs a few metres apart in front of a couch

step two: put a sheet over the chairs and the back of the couch. if you have a broom handle, stick that in the middle like a tent post and it will keep your fort from sagging, (not pictured here).

step three: get in the fort and bring other stuff in there with you. i suggest someone you like, some pillows, a bottle of wine, a little mood lighting and a phone in case you get stuck in there and can't go into work the next day.

jeremy's very close encounter

he doesn't like to do the dishes when we're camping anymore because of it

can't really say that i blame him

unconventional ways to boost airline sales

1. install more overhead button options than 'light' and 'fan' and 'flight assistance', like 'disco break' and 'i have a personal announcement' and 'eject your neighbour'

2. exit using inflatable yellow slide for fun, not just in an emergency situation

3. outfit seats with mock flight controls instead of tray tables

4. instead of in-flight movie, play live cockpit game of 'truth or dare' with the captain

5. allow passengers who find a red sticker under their seat get to fly the plane for 15 minutes

6. fill armrest ashtrays on older planes with candy

7. play the telephone game all the way to the back of the plane then back up to the cockpit with the flight coordinates and see how close we get

9. contortionist shows in overhead compartments

10. replace oxygen masks with drop down party favours

major differences between cabbage patch kids and real babies

NOTE: after i made this flow-chart chart i realized i had forgotten about one major difference between cabbage patch kids and real babies and that is that cabbage patch kids have 'Xavier Roberts' tattooed on their bottoms and typically real babies do not have tattoos unless they are rebels.

today's special

a transformer blew at work today leaving us without electricity

then the repair guy came with a new transformer to replace the old transformer only the new transformer also blew up

i liked picturing Optimus Prime back there blowing up and then being replaced with Megatron who also blew up but really Optimus Prime didn't blow up he just faked his own death to defeat Megatron

my gang members

my best friend forever who can buff the floor, bake a schnitzel, do her hair, clean the pool, read a book, buy some shoes and spin a plate on her head all at the same time.

lucy likes to keep her super powers on the down low but that's just because she is modest.

even in this photo while she appears to be just text messaging; with her toes on her right foot she's painting a picture and with her toes on her left foot she's re-grouting the patio tiles.

my gang members

my boyfriend. my love. the person who likes me best and vice-versa.

not only is jeremy an all around swell guy, he's also a giant.

see the picture to prove it.

my first ever cake i baked from scratch

it was from a martha stewart recipe and it turned out so gooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooood! exclamation point!

and i am not saying this because i love to brag i am saying this because it was, truly! everyone should learn how to make this cake and then eat it right away after making it.

but get a load of how the amount of icing i dumped on mine is like 5 rounded cups more than martha's! i think maybe she tells wrong instructions on purpose so no one's cake turns out as good as hers.*


*just kidding martha stewart you are a genius and a strong strong woman for making it through the business world and jail! i wonder if they let you bake stuff in the slammer.

i love michael jackson (an acrostic poem)

Man in the mirror, though I mainly just see myself.

'I just can't stop loving you.'

Chimpanzees make good loyal pets.

Heal the world, (make it a better place).

Aamasay mama sa ma macu sa.

Elizabeth Taylor thinks you're swell and so do I.

Latoya is your sister but this poem is not about her.

Jewels on one's socks are a better option than diamonds on the soles of one's shoes.

ABC, 123 baby you and me and your giant ranch.

Captain E-O is my her-o.

King Of Pop but remember that unfortunate Pepsi commercial incident?

Seventh child of the Jackson family but to me you are number one.

'Off the Wall' is often 'In my CD Player'.

Not my lover, like Billy Jean.

today's special

bananas are so enjoyable to slice, like mushrooms, so soft and nice to push a knife through.

unless your knives are from ikea then you have to hack at anything you cut even if it's butter.

the last square house

a long time ago, in a world much different than today, all of the houses in the City were smallish and squarish and had chimneys made of brick and yards big enough to grow things in.

like sunflowers and carrots and crunchy munchy snow peas.

then things began to change. like the people who lived in the houses started working more and making more money and had less time for gardening things like carrots and crunchy munchy snow peas and wanted bigger houses. rectangle houses.

so one by one the little square houses with sunflowers and chimneys were torn down and in their place the people built bigger houses, rectangle houses, all-grey houses that looked the same.

this went on until there were almost only big grey houses where the small square houses and gardens had been and only one small house with carrots remained.

and in the one small house left lived Grandma who was retired so had no interest in making more money and she lived with Granddaughter who had no interest in rectangle houses so the two were happy in the last square house with a garden.

because there was only the one remaining house with a chimney and sunflowers, the things that grew in Grandma and Granddaughter’s garden grew extra big. the radishes grew to the size of teapots and the corn grew taller than the chimney and the crunchy munchy snow peas grew together on their vine and made a ladder that Grandma and Granddaughter could climb to pick the corn.

the people in the City were still busy and working and had no time for gardens of their own and were often sad because they missed having fresh fruit for snacks and fresh vegetables with their dinner and they missed having homes that were nice to look at because of all the pretty and nice smelly flowers and trees.

the City people missed all of these things and were bored of their big grey houses that bore no flowers or carrots and because Grandma’s vegetables and trees were growing to be so humongous, the City people started to turn up on Grandma’s door. the door that belonged to the the last square house.

and because Grandma and Granddaughter were not bored but happy and full of all the fruit they could eat for snacks and vegetables they could eat for dinner, they let the people of the City come in.

one by one all of the City people left their rectangle houses to go to Grandma’s square house to sit in her garden and climb her snow pea ladder and perhaps eat an apple from the tree.

but the square house became crowded and the people of the City ate too many carrots and the garden started to look a little sad.

then Granddaughter had an idea.

she walked up on the snow pea ladder so all the City people could hear her and see her and she said this as loudly and politely as she could.

“though Grandma and i are all happy you came, our home, the last square house, is not big enough to keep all of you people from the City and so you must leave. before you go though, take a seed or a nut or a crunchy munchy snow pea pod and plant them wherever you can find a spot on the lot of your big rectangle houses”

so the City people left and on their way they took a seed or a nut or a crunchy munchy snow pea pod and when they got to their own homes they planted them in the one little square of dirt they could find on their teeny tiny rectangle house lots.

very soon all of the rectangle house neighbourhoods started to look different.

one house had corn and one grew roses and one grew a ladder of snow peas that bent over and built a bridge between one teeny lot to the next.

the people from the City shared with their neighbours whatever fruits and vegetables they grew and they were much happier and much less bored and their houses started looking less like each other and much more like the last little square house with the chimney and the yard big enough to grow things in.

insect/animal that i saw recently crawl under my bathtub

(the eyeball part may not be accurate as i really only saw his tail and back leg/alien limbs).