31 years, an acceptance speech.

it was my birthday! i'm 31 now! for some reason this seems like a more serious age than 30. like i can say "i'm in my 30's" as though i'm seasoned at it. i'm an adult! haha whenever i say this jeremy always says "you've been an adult for a while now" but i just can't really shake the feeling that i'm fudging it. that someone somewhere is going to ask me for id.

maybe that comes from my childhood and assuming that adulthood is an all knowing phase you launch into, dramatically and all at once when you reach a certain age. i still think it might happen. maybe at 40?

my birthday was nice and english and jer's british family of 20 sang happy birthday with cake and candles and a short stack of cards, like pancakes but less edible. i felt special. jeremy hugged me in bed in the morning when we woke up and i felt so insanely happy with love for him and my holiday and being alive and healthy and becoming a person i'd like to know and for all the love i felt in the world for my family and friends and the earth.

when we got home he gave me the present he made which was a miniature diorama that you hold up to the light and look through into a little scene. there's us on a picnic blanket, trees on one side, mountains on the other and a little river that runs through the front of our yard. there's a scarecrow to watch the vegetable garden and out the chimney of our house, a wisp of smoke. he called it 'sunset picnic' and made the entire thing from scratch and if our real house catches fire i now know what one thing i'll grab to take with me.

steph got me an office set of olive owls - one's for stapling, one's for taping, one's for storing little bits that need a kitschy home. it came with the sweetest card and the sweetest brown button collection for my creating and again i thought, this life, this friendship, i am just so thankful.

this is my last day of holiday before i head back to work and i'm spending it writing and drawing and giving thanks for a very rich life. thank you for all the ways you've made it richer, for reading the little secrets i long to share.